Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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