A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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