i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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