I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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