my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
