It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
