just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
