Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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