It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's never too late to be topless.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize