I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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