People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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