I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
