dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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