if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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