How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
