This is not my ceiling
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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