I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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