Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
