It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
this just has baby written all over it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
