That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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