Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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