why didn't you poke me back
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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