dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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