he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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