Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
