like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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