The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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