so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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