You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
