Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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