We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
