I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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