Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
