You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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