just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I could fuck to npr.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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