I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
