THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
its liver damage thursday
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
