I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize