Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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