god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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