if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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