Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We left the knife in your bed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize