That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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