hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
