My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
4 words: hood of his car
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
