I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
