walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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