a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
