I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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