I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
