Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
