Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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