I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize