I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
