Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
