Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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