There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
