addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
