i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
