How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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