I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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