we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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